Ink Kultur

'Tis the season to be half-naked again, with temperatures hitting the high 30s Münchners are heading to the streams, lakes and public pools to cool down and show us how their gym membership paid off, or not.

With all this exposed skin just walking about, we get to discover some beautiful artwork and interesting tattoo concepts. The most coveted one has to be the "tramp stamp"! Briefly popular in the 90s the concept left a lot of women and some men regretting this particular investment and being shamed by those who said thanks but, no thanks to the ongoing trend.

In Germany there are a few terms to describe this often tribal piece of artwork located on the lower part of the back.

"Schlampenstempel" is probably the most literal translation, there's also "Arschvignette" and my favorite "Arschgeweih" which translates to "ass antlers".

"Cool tattoo honey."

Mistaken for an illegal immigrant

It's Friday, 9 am Munich time and the phone rings. It's the police... They have been informed by the city of Munich that I was residing here illegally and we have to be at the police station in 2 hours.

Here's what happened, my girlfriend and I were visiting friends and family in Canada for a few weeks and then returned to a bunch of mail, including a letter from the city of Munich stating that I was residing in the country as an illegal immigrant. I was surprised by the fact that I was even able to get "IN" the country. If this was an actual fact, I imagine the border/passport control would've stopped me.

In due course, I mail them a copy of my passport and visa, issued by the Federal Republic of Germany, expecting this issue to be resolved. Not more than a week later I get a copy of that same letter in the mail, thinking this might be an automated system it's possible they didn't sort through the pile and found my innocence plea.

And that's how we get to the Friday 9 am phone call, merely 2 days after that letter was sent for the second time, they had already sent the same letter to the police station. The officer in charge of my file was very calm and sympathetic to my cause. He offered his contact information after verifying my legitimacy and told me to refer any further inquiry on my status to him. He proceeded to explain to us how the city of Munich has a central database and they should have access to my visa information but, you know, sometimes... what can you do?

What should've happened was when I signed up for my residency permit for the city of Munich, they should've asked me how long I planned on staying or if I had a certain type of work or travel visa and then put that information in the system. Or take a minute and look in their system before sending off this chain mail of accusations.

After more than 6 months in the country, what happened for them to suddenly notice that I had become an illegal immigrant? A tourist visa is 90 days, so after 3 months I would've expected a notice but it's been more than 180 days and they expect you to resolve this in a matter of days! After several ins and outs from Germany to top it off and I have never been questioned about my visa or multiple entries or residency issues whatsoever.

I thought that going through the trouble of getting the visa before-hand was already enough that you wouldn't have to prove again and again that you're a legit immigrant. There also has to be a better way than sending scary letters telling people that their status is illegal, a little tact would've been much appreciated. So from this point of view whether it's Canadian bureaucracy or German bureaucracy, systems will have flaws.

To most of you, Germany is known for their work ethics and efficiency. I have yet to see this.

This and Neuschwanstein.

For Canadians looking for visa info for Germany this site is very useful: http://www.canada.diplo.de/visa 

The Weekend Beer Haul (Franconia's Franky's)

First and foremost here's the beer haul from this weekend:

They have these store's named Orterer, Franky's and Fristo where they usually sell anything that comes in a bottle. The problem is there's no way of telling which brands they carry. The outcome is that "kid in a candystore feeling". I got my friend a case of gluten free beer and a mixed variety for me. Have you ever heard of these?

Munich Monster Bash 2014

Here's a fun one, you know that guy at the concert that's constantly pulling out his state of the art iPhone 4 or Samsung Galaxy to take very high quality pictures from 50 ft away? He's the same guy who's scrambling to take a video of the "new" song or "song we've never played before" from that obscure band and post that masterpiece on Youtube.

I chose to be that guy just to show you that we sort of lost the feeling of what going to a show is all about, the event, the excitement, the exclusivity of it is tossed by the shitty pics and videos that will be archived in our phone and never shown to anyone.

The concert was on a Saturday starting early in the afternoon and like any other concerts it took way too long to get our wristbands and we missed the first band all together.

If you want to check out the place: http://www.zenith-muenchen.de/

 


 Here's a few from the pit, you can't get any closer but if you've ever been in a mosh pit, you know that no image stabilizer in the world will make these pics look good!

 And a bonus picture from this guy wearing some Mute gear (Québec is present in Munich).

Ignite video here.

The Good, The Bad and the Different: Die Musik

The Good

For starters, Spotify is available in Germany and I've been enjoying the hell out of it, it's interface is similar to iTunes and it's free, with occasional ads. The paid version gives you no ads and an unlimited amount of music across several devices for an annual price tag of 120$.

The Bad

Can't torrent, whether you're a firm believer in file sharing or an advocate of copyright protection in Germany you no torrent! A handful of law firms are partnering up with ISPs all over Germany and are sending out letters threatening to fine you for life. Settle or fight it, you will have to fork out some Euros to resolve that piece of mail.

The quality of the internets in some areas are very low quality, if your building is not equipped with fiber optic you're stuck on DSL along with all of your neighbors and their neighbors. Static and interference prevail! Streaming movies and tv shows is a painful activity for most, we have better luck with music files which require less resources but not without interruptions.

If you read my article on GEMA you already know that a fair amount of Youtube videos are blocked as well.

The Different

The best and most reliable source is still the cd player! We own one and I use it! This piece has likely lost 90% of it's original monetary value but in my heart it will forever remain a loyal friend.

Beer art

I've been working on this for a bit, I've always been a fan of Augustiner so I thought I've redo the bottle cap logo from scratch and switch some colors around to fit with some of their labels. Let me know what you think.

(Click on image. See big big size.)

Is there another color you'd like to see? What's your favorite beer label/logo?

A post about mypole [sic] maypole!

Spring has finally arrived in Bavaria, the birds and the beers, love is in the air, flowers are blooming and soon will come the time to erect some poles. No joke!

I've been asking around about those tall blue and white poles all over town which seem to be associated to beer gardens and no one was really able to give me a proper explanation.

Maypoles

They're called maypoles or in Deutsch Maibaum, which literally translates to May tree. Which reminds me of a funny saying the Germans have: "Mal bist du der Hund, mal bist du der Baum." Sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the tree.

Back to the poles! Erection date is usually May 1st and believed to come from Germanic pagan traditions, they're also thought to symbolize the return of summer and growth of vegetation. There's a mention on Wikipedia of phallic symbolism for those of you who thought I was immature. Which I am but erections are nothing to joke about.

(insert Viagra ad banner here)

The signs added to the pole represent the different trades represented in the region. This tradition is also practiced in the Scandinavian countries, the UK, Ireland, Italy and some parts of the States.

If you're interested in learning more about poles or if you have pole related articles you'd like to share first check out this neat Bavarian website.

Check out my blog regularly as I will be posting pictures of poles pre and post (no pun intended) May 1st.

If you want to help me collect poles, send me your local poles via @valleem on Twitter or @coasterbox on Instagram.

April 23, 2014... Let's call it "The Big Day"

Today is the Reinheitsgebot's 498th birthday, in 1516 the beer was only allowed to be produced using water, malt and hops and the purity law stands to this day. Today we celebrate the German National Beer Day. Here are a few interesting facts I managed to find about the Germans and the culture of beer.

Prost

When you raise your glass up high and exchange Prosts with your drinking partners always look them in the eyes, otherwise common belief in Germany is that you will have 7 years of bad sex.

The Nation's Favourite

The top five beers in Germany this year are "apparently":

1-Oettinger (discount beer similar to Coors Light, I was told only construction workers drink that one)
2-Krombacher (Official sponsor of the Bundesliga)
3-Bitburger (sold 3.86 million hectoliter, also distributed worldwide)
4-Warsteiner (If you have a beer on a Lufthansa flight that'll be a Warsteiner)

5-Veltins (Also known for the Veltins Arena home of FC Shalke 04)

Anyone else think that this shouldn't be called Nation's Favourite but perhaps Nation's Most Lucrative?

Warum Weisse?

The Weißbier is one of the most known beer type associated to Germany. They have mastered the crafting, the pour, the glass, the head and even the toast. You should always toast a weißbier with the bottom of the glass in oder to shake the sediments from the bottom of your glass toward the top and release the additional flavor into the beer.

A beer a day

It would take you 13 years to taste every German beer at a rate of 1 per day. Bavaria alone is said to have 4000 types of beers.

Was ist das?

Those are beer nails, produced by those ingenious German students, the beer nails were added to their school books to prevent them from directly lying on wet bar tables.

You'll find more interesting facts in this article from thelocal.de a great source of information for the expat in you and a mild source of humor for foreigners. 

But that's not all, FC Bayern Munchen...

...is playing in the Champion's League tonight against Real Madrid, this makes National Beer Day even more exciting, could we ask for more? I don't think so!

I’m religious… again.

I was filling out my new employee form at work and noticed a mandatory “Religion” field. I’m far from being a regular when it comes to religion or religious practice but for the sake of the paycheck I wrote in Catholic. Moments after returning my form to human resources I was summoned in their office only to be told that if I didn't put any religion I wouldn't have to pay the “Religion Tax”.

They have such a thing

On an intern budget I thought the few Euros a month I would save would be great to I left the field blank. A few days later I received a letter from the city of Munich including a form which I had to fill out for my residency. Sure enough the “Religion” field had miraculously manifested itself on that form as well. This time I only had the choice between a bunch of abbreviations each representing a religion. I asked my girlfriend if any of the abbreviations stood for “NO RELIGION”. It was then explained to me that if I wanted to get married in a church (“I” being “WE” and “WE” being a common consensus where one has a veto) along with every other services churches might provide (baptism, confirmation, funeral, etc.) I would have to pay the tax.

Death and taxes

The two things in life one can’t avoid… and mail, if you live in Germany. This week I received a welcoming pamphlet, full-sized, colored pamphlet from my church. Now I know where my church taxes are going. I've heard from a few that this tax is sort of bogus and I don’t see how the church would refuse a “lump sum” or some sort of monetary agreement in order to get married in church. More on that in a post-marital blog entry.

St. Anna im Lehel, Munich

The GEZ

They found me! I got a letter in the mail today from the GEZ they want my money, my hard earned fun-sized Euro money. Lucky for me, the girlfriend is already contributing to the GEZ regime so I don't have to, but they still try to getcha!

The GEZ is sort of the television and radio police, it used to be if you owned a tv, computer or radio (including car radio) you would be subject to pay 17,03 Euros monthly. Since 2013 everyone pays, too many people pretended not to have a television and, well, it's 2014 c'mon!

The Germans pay 17,98 Euros for tv and radio stations which are deemed essential, sort of a tax for the right to information. First you buy a television, then most people won't get many channels unless your building offers cable in the price of your rent. The other option is to buy an antenna or some cheaper satellite receptor thing... yeah that! Even then when it's bad weather outside or to many wifis running around the house the reception is often terrible.

What's cool about the car radio is that every now and then you'll get traffic status and accident reports based on your location. It can get annoying if you're listening to a really good cd and just before the solo this guy with a thick German accent comes on just to tell you that the A9 is congested (stau).

I'll be working on an article about how much mail Germans get, this is getting ridiculous, stay tuned and if you meet someone today and have nothing to say to them, why not tell them about my blog and how I write funny anecdotes on my experiences in Germany, because sharing is caring!

To work or not to work, that is a good question!

For all the curious souls who wonder when the next civic holiday is I present to you an interesting map of the civic holiday for Germany. Most holidays are related to religious events and some are specific to regions of the country, an extensive list can be found here.

If we do a little math... my accountant friends will likely request an edit of this article. Either way if we count an average of 12 civic holidays and take into consideration the fact that most stores, shops and offices are closed on Sundays, that most people have some sort of two day weekend during a week and that the average working German is given 30 days of vacation every year...

An average working German only works 219 days per year.

The Good, the Bad and the Different

The Good:

In Germany, you can drink alcohol pretty much anywhere you can think of. You can have a beer on your way to a bar or a party no more pre-binge drinking at a friends place before going out. Road beers are the way to go. You can drink on the street, in a park or garden even in the car (as long as you're not driving or biking). Until recently you could drink in the tram and bahn (subway), it's still tolerated from what I understand but we should try to be discreet about it. You can also leave your empties on the ground next to a trash can for easy pick up by homeless people.

The Bad:

You can spill beer in your girlfriend's car because for some reason VW doesn't make the coasters big enough for a regular sized 50cl bottle of beer... and that makes her sad! (Tip: green onions seem to mask the smell of spilt beer in a car.) Take note that as much fun as have a few drink on a long road trip this will certainly add a few stops to... um... take a piss.

The Different:

Those who know me know I love beer, why else would I move to Germany? Oh yeah, maybe one other reason. Although I live in the indisputable beer heaven region of the world the Reinheitsgebot (German beer purity law) makes it difficult to find beers similar to IPAs and high IBU beers. I have barely scratched the surface of hefeweizen, dunkel and in this moment "stark bier", a strong beer made especially for lent. It would be nice to be able to get a taste of home every now and then. Wish me luck on finding a Hoser bar otherwise I'll have to make my way back to Belgium for a bitter taste.

My last week in Canada

Empty my office - CHECK

Work and travel visa - CHECK
One way ticket to Munich - CHECK

One last ride on the Rideau Canal - CHECK

5 days left to wonder how my life is going to change over the weekend. I'm leaving my very comfortable job on Friday to fly to my new home for a year, Munich. I've had about a month to plan where to store my bed and other things I won't bring. I'm sure I made some friends happy leaving them responsible for my music collection and instruments.

I'm bringing my "Goldie" with me. I would have to pay 100$ for an extra checked bag but I got a nice on-board size suitcase as a gift for my birthday! In which the rest of my life will be crammed for a few hours. :-\

I'm landing in Munich on Saturday and have Sunday to rest but Monday is already the new routine kicking in and I'm starting my new job at Ciao!

About Reddit

For those of you who already know about reddit and its up vote system you might find this post a little bland. If you're new to reddit you probably spent a few nights catching up on missed memes and redundant inside jokes that are exclusive to specific subreddits. Well I guess I'm the type of person who made it through the junk and managed to filter my way through the "funny", the "AnimalAdvice" and the "Gentlemanboners" to eventually get myself a job abroad.

I like to teach myself and learn thing on my own. By trying, exploring and occasionally failing, I managed to be very efficient in finding the answer to almost anything. Now, what happens when I can't find the answer... well I tell myself I'm certainly not the only one asking myself that question, usually a little google search or a well placed post on reddit will get the necessary players involved to get the information I need.

When I planned on moving to Munich I wasn't lining up a job, I was going there to immerse myself in Deutsch courses and do some volunteer work to setup a network until I can speak enough German to be considered for employment. 

I had already registered for Deutsch courses at the Deutsch Akademie and changed my location on linkedin to Munich so I would get emails about job opportunities.

But surfing at the right place and the right time brought me straight to that reddit post. One week later I had an interview. I was told I would hear from the human resources department after the holidays. To my surprise I was sent a job offer by email, I quickly accepted and offered to visit my new workplace and meet my new team in person.

It's a great feeling to be offered a job in a country that isn't yours. I haven't set a foot out the door yet and I've managed to setup a modest employment for at least the first six months abroad. To all redditors, I know some of you have been lurking and avoided making a profile but reddit can also lead you to a great network of like-minded people and maybe a future job.

Bereit zu lernen! (Ready to learn!)

I signed up for an intensive German language course. Intensive means I'll be getting 3 hours per day from Monday to Thursday for 4 weeks.

The Deutsch Akademie was recommended by friends, plus it's a short tram ride from where I'll be staying. You can choose the time blocks such as 9 AM - 12 PM or evening classes which usually fill up pretty quick. They recommend signing up 4-5 weeks ahead of time to make sure you get a spot.

The damage is 265 Euros which is around $375 CAN. Which I have to pay, you guessed it, in cash! Germans believe that if you're paying with a credit card, it means that you're poor. I just want to load my travel visa with points so I can fly for cheap.

Travel tip

If you are a frequent traveler and spend a lot of money on flights and abroad get a travel credit card. They usually have an annual fee (70$ - 120$) but I got a 1300$ flight for 187$.
I could register online and they sent me a test to evaluate how much I already know about the language... not much is my honest answer.

The test

The Deutsch Akademie sends you a test to evaluate your current German skills in order to put you in a group which matches your level of knowledge. I've been putting off the test as I was contacted for a job interview last week and I'm getting a second interview with Human Resources... I was told it's usually a good sign. More to come very soon, I'm leaving at the end of the week for my first German Weihnachten.[Remove eggnog and replace with strong beer].

Getting the call

Nothing's great about living with 6 hour time difference. Except waking up to an email requesting a phone interview for a job you applied for! I was browsing reddit.com/r/munich when a post caught my eye. Internship for native English speaker sounded like a position I'd be able to fill. With a load of office experience already on my resumé I decided to apply right away and see what happens. I was already excited to pick up my passport with my new work and travel visa approved, this was the cherry on the sundae.

I've applied for a few jobs already. My first one with GoPro, they have a Munich office and I thought I was a likely candidate for the Office Manager position, I still think the name of the position is a front for an administrative task oriented job, in any case a foot in the door is better than a foot in the mouth. I suspect my lack of German language knowledge played against me on that one. Speaking of which, cue Don't Lose Touch and carry on.

Another job in a totally different vein had a very appealing aspect, free German language classes. The position was in a private school for students from 2-6 yo... I know what you're thinking that's a babysitting job, yes 4 people to babysit 15 kids in English in exchange for money and free German courses. That didn't work out, about one thousand people viewed the job posting and I'm certain someone had better "children education skills" than me.

I'm still learning a lot of new tricks for applying for jobs in Deutschland. I need to book a photo session because apparently pics on resumés are a must! The question now is with or without the beard? 

APPROVED!

Back in November I applied for a work and travel visa through the Youth Mobility Program. I was told the process would take two weeks. At the end of the third week I started wondering and called the German Consulate in Toronto and the nice lady on the phone told me that my visa was approved! I ran to my colleague's cubicle and we jumped and screamed like little girls...embarrassing? I'm told you only live once, haters gonna hate, oh whateves y'all! I should get my passport next week in time for my trip!

Now I can sit back and relax right? Wrong. I still have to take that test which will determine my level of German language so I can register at the Deutsch Akademie for my German language lessons. I wonder if after a few beers my German will be good enough to ace that test? I might me missing the point...

Now that my work and travel visa is approved, dear employers of Germany, I'm all yours!

The pain of waiting

The German consulate has my passport and I'm patiently waiting for my visa to be approved. In approximately two months I'll be on a flight to Munich and that is when my 1 year sabbatical leave starts. I still have to line up my German language classes. The plan is to get some intensive classes 3-4 days per week to start and see how quickly I can pick up the language. So far, I've been able to make my way slowly through the Duolingo.com exercises and I also loaded my iPhone with some German lessons. Duolingo is a lot of fun but it lacks the conversation aspect.

The second step will be to start applying for jobs and/or volunteer work. I used toytowngermany.com to offer my services to non-profit organizations. Clearly I'm hoping to get a paid job or some type of internship but in terms of networking I have a lot to offer and am willing to work for nothing if it eventually gives me enough experience to enter the German workforce while I get better at speaking and understanding the language.

It's no secret to anyone, I'm a huge beer lover and I have been looking at opportunities to work for, basically, any German beer company that will have me. For now it's all about tweaking the resumé and sending it out to the masses in the hope of catching the interest of a good company that's on the lookout for an ambitious foreigner.